Ever heard that saying, “You can’t pour from an empty vase”? I am sure you have. Even though this is a phrase you have heard thousands of times, you are still trying aren’t you? I am guilty of this for sure. Parents, especially moms, have issues with this idea. Have you ever thought:
“Once I finish…”
“If I can just get the kids off to school…”
“When they aren’t teething, or sick, or in a crib….”
“One more morning of playing legos then…”
The list can go on and on. Pretty soon, we look up and realize that we are yelling more often, have a shorter fuse, have less patience to hear that same song on Alexa AGAIN, consider drinking at noon, eat straight from the ice cream carton at 10pm and think: what happened here? How did I get here? What am I doing wrong? I feel so stressed.
I have the answer for you mamas.
SELF-CARE.
Let me start by defining my thoughts on what self-care means. These acts are things that you can do that help your mind, body and soul improve. They are limited to actions that are actually positive and helpful for you, not things you think that are self-care that aren’t (insert scrolling the internet or watching YouTube or Tik Tok.)
Sounds simple, sure, but it can be extremely hard to put ourselves first. I have some news for you.YOU ARE A BETTER HUMAN WHEN YOU DO IT! I know, easier said than done. You need a plan. So here are my tips and tricks to fitting in that essential self-care:
Wake up early. You need alone time when your whole house is still sleeping. I know, I am sorry, but this is true. I realize that it is easier if you are a “morning person,” but I wholeheartedly believe that, with practice, you can make yourself more of a morning person. I also know what you night owls are going to say: “I get my alone time when the whole house is sleeping at night. That is why I stay up until 1am.” I am going to challenge you on that one. How often do the hours of 9pm and 1am produce more than binge watching TV, scrolling social media, and eating food that you shouldn't be eating??? Probably not that often. I read once that humans have a limited amount of self-control and going through your regular day you are constantly using it up. When you get to night time, your mind doesn’t have anything left to help you be productive or actually get in true self-care. In my personal experience, forming this early wake-up habit is not too hard. It feels so good to do it, and once your body recognizes when you are consistently waking up, it will do it on its own. I still have days where I sleep in, but I remind myself how much better I feel when I get up early on my own. I heard once that it is better to wake up on your own than wake up and immediately be needed by someone. Have you even had one of those mornings where you leisurely wake up and realize that the kids are magically still asleep???? It’s wonderful.
Create a workout routine and get accountability partners. Physical fitness is a non negotiable for me. I workout each day for at least thirty minutes. Sometimes, my workout is a thirty minute walk and other times it is an intense boot camp class with my fitness crew. No matter what the intensity is, I get it done every day. Am I some sort of will power genius? No! I just know how much better I feel and how much more I have to give when I do it. I was not always this way. I went through many years where I would strive to workout three times a week and call that a success. What I have noticed, however, is the benefit of physical movement on mood, energy, and endorphin levels. I notice this most on those days when I sleep in and can’t get my early morning workout done. I feel this nagging lack of accomplishment or that there is still something that I have to do to really get my day started. Plus, I miss the rush of mood improving chemicals released during a workout.
Finding accountability partners and friends who wake up early and have similar fitness goals is key to success also. I have some amazing, strong women in my life that workout alongside me. They encourage me and make me feel strong. They also help lift me up if I have fallen into a place where I need some food encouragement or for someone to get me off the couch.
Read. I grew up HATING to read. It was hard for me and always felt confusing, so I avoided it at all costs. I am not sure that I read an entire book during high school. It wasn’t until a few years ago that I found an OBSESSION with learning through reading. I started with personal development books and resources that taught growth and how to become a better person. My reading habit has evolved to include all sorts of books that help me feel better about who I am becoming or even get lost in the fun of a fiction story. Reading is really amazing and can fulfill so many aspects of self-care.
Gratitude! Write gratitude each day! When you look for things to appreciate, you will find them. If you look for negativity, you will find that too. So step up and appreciate the little things in life. Each morning, I write five things I am grateful for from the previous day. This practice helps me to feel great first thing in the morning. Get yourself a fun, cute journal to write your gratitudes in! I use the Start Today journal from The Hollis Co.
Take time to meet up with friends - virtually or outdoors in COVID times! Having time with good friends is good for the soul. Whether it is a chat to vent or pick your friend’s brain, taking time away from your family is important self-care!
Do something that makes you feel GOOD! For me a workout does the trick, but I also love a great massage or a trip to get a pedicure (not possible in COVID, I know :( ). When you can walk away and KNOW that you feel GOOD after, you are winning.
It may seem impossible at times to find some space to do things for yourself, but it is your responsibility to take care of your body. This is the only body you get! As Robin Arzon says, “You are one of one, limited edition!” Whether it is ten minutes to walk or meditate, write gratitude or chat on the phone to a friend, get it in daily! Your mind, body and family will thank you!
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